


take a breath & count to five

by babybel



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: 10 and donna are soulmates but like. platonically, Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode: s04e10 Midnight, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, They love each other so much, it's like. you guys really think he could go through All That in midnight and be perfectly ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-07-27 22:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20053327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybel/pseuds/babybel
Summary: the doctor can't actually process what happened on midnight without seizing up. donna tries to talk him through it.





	take a breath & count to five

**Author's Note:**

> midnight is my favorite episode and it would be a CRIME if i didn't write something for it

Donna found it impossible to go to sleep. They’d been off Midnight for maybe six hours and even though time didn’t really apply in the TARDIS it was the middle of the night, according to her watch. It wasn’t like she wasn’t tired, either. She was just filled with such a sense of unease and discomfort that she couldn’t even turn the lights out in her room. She just laid in bed and stared up at the ceiling, willing herself to stop worrying over things she shouldn’t worry over. 

Although, maybe she should. She’d always been good at worrying. She was a good worrier. 

Eventually, she sat up, moved by an unexplainable upset that was clinging to her. It had something to do with what happened on Midnight. It had sat so awfully with her. And it wasn’t like she knew everything - the Doctor had told her the bare minimum, just that there was something and it had gotten into the shuttle and done something to him that took his voice - but she knew enough for it to keep her up. How quiet he was when he came back was enough to keep her up. 

She felt her way along the corridor from her room to the console room, knowing deep in her chest what she’d find there. She didn’t know what she’d say. What she could say. Or maybe she’d walk into an empty room, all the lights on the console blinking on their own, and she really would have worried for nothing. She hoped for that, and didn’t expect it. 

When she stepped out into the console room, her eyes immediately found the Doctor. 

He had his back to her, and he was sitting on the ground by the stairs, his knees hugged to his chest. 

She said, as gently as she could, “Hey. Take a breath, yeah?”

“Donna.” His voice sounded so tight, and the fact that he didn’t turn around or even move was frightening. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said, and she made her way over to him. She leaned against the console behind him. “You?”

“No.”

“Yeah. One of those nights.” Donna was staring at the back of his head, willing him to turn around and smile and strike up the beginning of their familiar banter. 

After a moment of silence, the Doctor drew a deep, ragged breath and said, “Thing is, I’ll never get rid of it. Never get rid of that feeling. It’ll always be there, I can’t forget it.” 

“It’s gone, though. That thing, it’s dead,” Donna said, hoping she sounded comforting. “Even if it’s not there’s no way it could’ve followed us. It’s at the other end of the universe.” 

“But I’m not going to be the same as I was before it-” He stopped, voice taut. “I can feel it. Still. I can’t not feel it. Donna, I- I can’t move. I can’t move. I can’t- I can’t move-” 

“Hey,” she said sharply, and pushed off the console to sit beside him. She put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop it. You can move. You’re fine, alright? You’re here with me.” 

He shook his head just the tiniest bit, the smallest motion back and forth. She could see his face now, and his teeth were gritted so tight she was afraid they’d crack. His eyes were open, too open, and heavy with tears that wouldn’t fall. 

She rubbed his shoulder. “Come on,” she murmured, a bit of encouragement, and hoped it would help.

The Doctor took another breath, and it sounded painful to do. 

She let herself panic, internally, just for a second, and then shook it off and looked him up and down. 

He was locked in place, so tense and tight he was shaking the smallest bit all over. He wouldn’t blink. He seemed to only breathe when he absolutely needed to. 

“You’re okay,” she said gently, and gave his shoulder a tiny push, just to shake him a bit, to try and get him out of it.

Nothing.

She rubbed her forehead, trying to think of how to do this. “Deep breath, alright? With me. Here.” She took a breath, and waited until he did the same. It looked like he was going against every thought in him to do what she asked. “Good. Good. Okay, count to five. Hold it for five.” She waited, counting it out in her head. “Breathe out. There.” 

The breath came out uneven, through gritted teeth, and a tear streaked down his cheek. 

“Keep doing that,” she instructed gently. Then she held out her hand. “Alright. Take my hand.” She waited. Nothing. “Take my hand right now.” She put her hand right next to his. “Couple inches. You can do that. Take my hand.” 

When the Doctor moved his hand he did it so slowly, so shakily, that it looked like he was fighting against every muscle in his body to cover those few inches. When he did take her hand, he held it so tightly it hurt.

“Good,” Donna said. “That’s good.” She ran her thumb back and forth over his knuckles. “Nothing’s in you, got that? You’re you and nothing else. It’s gone.” 

“It’s gone,” he repeated, and he finally blinked. 

“Don’t do that,” Donna said quickly. “Don’t say what I say. Let go of your legs now, alright? Put your feet down on the stairs.” And she waited the minutes it took for him to do that, to unfold. “That’s it.” 

He was moving now, if only the smallest bit. His chest rose and fell when he breathed, which seemed to be more frequently. He blinked, if only once or twice. 

Donna put a hand onto his shoulder and gave it a little squeeze, hoping it was enough.

“Donna,” he whispered. 

“Yeah?” She reached up and wiped her eyes. 

“This feels better.” 

“Yeah. Hey, come here.” She pulled him into a hug, and after a moment, he hugged her back. 

He held onto her almost too tightly, hands clenched in the fabric of her nightshirt. 

She waited, and rubbed his shoulders, and heard and felt his breathing slowly return to normal. 

“Thank you,” he said, after what must have been minutes and minutes. “Oh, thank you.” 

Donna gave him one last squeeze and then let him go. “Hey, you.” 

He smiled. A tiny, tiny smile, but a smile. 

“It’s okay to be scared,” she said. “I’m scared a lot. Really, a lot. But you’ve also got to know when you’re safe. You’re safe in here, yeah? And whatever that thing was, it’s horrible, but it’s not in here.”

“I know. I just couldn’t…” 

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay.” Donna smiled. 

“It is. It is okay.” He grabbed her hand again. 

“You’re stronger than that thing, I know you are. Even if you’re still feeling what you felt, it’s… you’re stronger than that,” Donna continued, bumping her shoulder against his. “You can get through it. I’ll help.” 

Then he gave her a real grin. A full grin. “You’re going to keep being my hero, then? Same old same old?”

“You bet,” Donna murmured. “Couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“I know.” 

She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Really, though. It’s gone. You can move. You can talk. You can do anything you want to. It’s gone.” 

“Donna, I know. I know. I’m sorry you had to see me. Like that.” He rested his head on top of hers. “Thanks.” 

“Course.” She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. That feeling, that chilling, inescapable unease, was gone. “Come to bed with me.” 

“What?” He sat up straight to look over at her with shock. 

“Not like that,” she snapped, also straightening up, “obviously.” And, god, it felt good to have that familiar back and forth back. “Just- you know. Just in case. And just for tonight.” 

He laughed a little, under his breath. “Alright.” He stood, and offered her his hands. 

She let him pull her up, and they walked together in silence back down the corridor to her room. She was exhausted, and it was just hitting her. She was basically dragging herself along, barely keeping her eyes open. When they reached it, she held the door to her room open for him. “I call the left side, and if you take my blankets I’m kicking you out.”

“Noted, Miss Noble.” The Doctor unlaced his shoes and left them by the door, and hung his suit jacket over the back of her desk chair. 

They both got into bed and laid side by side, looking up at the same ceiling. 

After a few minutes, Donna whispered, “You really sleep in that suit, then?”

“Come on, I-”

“That’s bloody stupid,” she muttered. “Sleeping in a dress shirt.”

“Hush, you,” he replied. 

“Whatever,” Donna shot back, and nudged him slightly. After a few minutes of peaceful, safe silence, she was drifting to sleep. 

“Donna,” the Doctor whispered, after maybe fifteen minutes. “Hey, Donna. You awake?”

Donna made a sound to indicate that technically, she was at least partly awake, but not really. 

“Thanks,” he said. “Really, thanks. I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Donna mumbled, and held her hand out towards him until he took it and gave it a squeeze. “G’night.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

And Donna smiled, even though she knew he couldn’t see it, and she rolled over and went to sleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @lesbiandonnanoble !


End file.
